Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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