why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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