you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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