is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
