so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm passing your future prison.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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