i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
