Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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