we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
