He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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