I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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