with your own penis?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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