I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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