at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also, beer. Big fan.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
