yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
