and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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