Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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