Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
