farters have to be the big spoon...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize