it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
