no, he came in my armpit
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys donβt want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
