Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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