I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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