I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
