another moral hangover. fuck.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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