thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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