i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
