Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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