I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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