been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
