JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
