i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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