the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
