I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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