if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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