I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i've created a new STD.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
