What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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