ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
