they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
