You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just gift wrapped bread.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
did i walk over a car last night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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