He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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