When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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