Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
