why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
