I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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