I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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