obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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