literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize