How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
