is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
