So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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