Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
