i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
