Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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