You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
false alarm, still single
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
