finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize