We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize