I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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