I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
