haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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